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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;" data-mce-style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">There’s something I’ve slowly started to understand about achieving things. Sometimes the thing stopping you from getting where you want to go is how badly you want to get there.I know that sounds ridiculous.Surely if you want something badly enough, you should work harder. Be more disciplined. Sacrifice more. Push yourself further.That’s what I believed for a long time.And it took me years to realise that sometimes wanting something desperately makes you completely incapable of seeing what you actually need to do.Because when you become emotionally attached to an outcome, everything starts to revolve around protecting it.You stop asking:“What is actually working?”And start asking:“What do I need to do to make this work?”There’s a subtle difference.One allows you to look at the evidence.The other makes you desperately search for a way to preserve the future you’ve already imagined.I know this because I did it myself.<h3>I wanted to be an athlete</h3>For years, I wanted to be a professional athlete.Not casually.I wanted it badly.Football was the dream.Then Olympic weightlifting.Then American football.Then bobsleigh.I was constantly chasing the next version of myself.I thought I was progressing because I was always doing more.Training six times a week.Working.Training again.Trying to optimise everything.Trying to find the perfect programme, the perfect rep ranges, the perfect exercises, the perfect recovery strategy.And my body kept giving me information.I was injured constantly.I wasn’t sleeping enough.My mind was cloudy.I was trying to balance work with ridiculous amounts of training.And eventually I had to turn down my first professional contract because I was injured just before COVID.I never really recovered enough to get that opportunity again.But even then, I didn’t immediately let go.I kept trying to find the answer.Maybe I needed to recover harder.Maybe I needed to change my programming.Maybe I needed to train differently.Maybe I just needed to get everything perfectly right.I treated myself like an equation.Input the correct training.Input the correct nutrition.Input the correct recovery.Get the desired output.Except I’m not an equation.I’m a human being.And eventually, something changed.I started to wonder whether I might never get there.And strangely, that was when things started getting better.When the pressure disappeared, I could finally seeI stopped training because I had to become an athlete.I started training because I enjoyed training.I stopped worrying so much about whether I was following the perfect programme.Sometimes I don’t even write one.I’ll train once or twice a week.I’ll do exercises I enjoy.I’ll adjust things when I notice I’m not progressing.And when I don’t get stronger, I don’t immediately panic.I ask myself:Am I actually recovered?Did I train hard enough last time?How has my sleep been?Has my nutrition been shit?Am I expecting too much too quickly?What does the evidence actually tell me?And weirdly, I’m making progress.More progress in some ways than I was when I was trying desperately to make progress.Because I’m finally able to think critically.I’m not trying to force reality to fit the future I imagined.I’m looking at what is actually happening and responding to it.That’s what letting go gave me.Not the thing I wanted.Clarity.<h3>We hold onto the future</h3>I think a lot of people do this without realising it.They hold onto a particular goal.A particular body.A particular timeline.A particular training method.A particular feeling they think they’ll have once they finally achieve it.And because they are so attached to it, they stop questioning whether the path they’re on actually makes sense.You see it in fitness constantly.Someone decides they need to lose 10kg.So suddenly they’re terrified of eating anything that isn’t in their plan.They won’t go out for dinner because they’re worried it’ll set them back.They weigh themselves and feel like shit when the number goes up.They obsess over calories.They jump onto the newest diet because someone on Instagram got the body they want doing it.They follow a programme religiously even when it’s clearly not working.And every piece of feedback becomes criticism.Because they’re not just trying to improve anymore.They need it to work.That’s when things become dangerous.Because now the goal has become emotionally loaded.And when something becomes emotionally loaded, you stop seeing it clearly. <h3> You start doing things that don’t make sense</h3>I’ve done this myself.I wanted to become an athlete so badly that I’d sometimes train outside the weights and rep ranges I actually needed because I wanted to progress faster.I would train after 3-4 hours sleep or after a night out when I wasn't recovered.I wasn’t making decisions based on what my body was telling me.I was making decisions based on how badly I wanted the outcome.There’s a difference between commitment and attachment.Commitment says:“I’m going to do what is necessary.”Attachment says:“This has to happen.”And when you believe it has to happen, you’ll do some strange things.You’ll sacrifice your relationships.You’ll sacrifice sleep.You’ll sacrifice experiences.You’ll become obsessed with people who are achieving what you want and start wondering what they’re doing differently.You’ll become jealous.You’ll constantly compare yourself.You’ll chase every new strategy.You’ll convince yourself that if you just work harder, everything will eventually fall into place.And sometimes the thing you actually need to change isn’t your training.It’s your life.Your sleep.Your job.Your routine.Your relationship with food.Your relationship with yourself.Or maybe even your reason for wanting the goal in the first place.<h3>Because sometimes the goal isn’t really the goal</h3>This is probably the hardest thing I’ve had to realise.For a long time, I thought I wanted to be an athlete because I wanted to achieve something extraordinary.And I did.But I also wanted to make an impact.I wanted to become somebody capable of doing something meaningful.And somewhere along the way, I think sport became a way of running from parts of myself that I didn’t want to face.Because as long as I had something to chase, I didn’t have to stop.I could just keep moving.Football.Weightlifting.American football.Bobsleigh.The next competition.The next goal.The next version of me.But eventually you run out of things to chase.And when you have nothing left to run towards, you turn around.And sometimes you realise you weren’t actually chasing something.You were being chased.And now you have to face whatever caught you.It's really painful.And I think this is why people can spend their entire lives moving from one goal to another without ever really feeling satisfied.The future disappears.So they create another one.Then another.Then another.Because they never stop long enough to ask themselves what they’re actually running from.<h3>Letting go hurts</h3>This is the part I think gets missed.Letting go isn’t some peaceful decision where you suddenly feel enlightened.Sometimes letting go means grieving a future you desperately wanted.I had to grieve the athlete I thought I was going to become.The career I thought I would have.The opportunities I thought were waiting for me.And I don’t think you can pretend that doesn’t hurt.But eventually, you realise something.The future you were holding onto wasn’t real.It was an idea.And once you let go of it, you get something back.The present.And when you’re actually present, you can think.You can look at your life without constantly asking whether it is taking you towards the future you’ve decided you need.You can ask:What do I actually enjoy?What am I actually good at?What is actually working?What isn’t?What do I genuinely want?And perhaps most importantly:Do I even still want this?<h3>The tree doesn’t care how badly you want it to grow</h3>I always tell my clients:How fast does a tree grow?If you water it twice as much, does it suddenly grow twice as fast?If you throw more dirt at it, does it shoot upwards?No.You give it what it needs.Then you give it time.And eventually, you find out how big your tree is going to become.That’s how I think about progress now.I still want things.I’m still ambitious.I’m still training.I’m still trying to build businesses.I’m still trying to become better.Letting go hasn’t made me less driven.It’s actually made me more capable of doing what is necessary.Because now, if something isn’t working, I can change it.If I need more rest, I can rest.If I need to eat differently, I can eat differently.If I need to work harder, I can work harder.If something feels good and doesn’t perfectly fit the plan, I can do it anyway.I don’t have to panic.I don’t have to force everything.I don’t have to make today prove that I’m going to become the person I want to be.I can just do what makes sense today.And then do it again tomorrow.<h3>Maybe you don’t have to give up what you want</h3>This is where I think letting go gets misunderstood.You don’t necessarily have to give up your dream.You have to give up your need for the dream to happen in the way you’ve imagined.Maybe you still want the body.Maybe you still want the career.Maybe you still want the relationship.Maybe you still want to become incredibly successful.You can still go after it.But you don’t have to make your happiness dependent upon it.You don’t have to destroy your life trying to force it into existence.And you don’t have to be terrified of changing direction.Because the future doesn’t actually exist.It’s something we’ve created in our heads.And sometimes you let go of one path and end up somewhere else entirely.Then you realise that somehow, you’ve arrived at the thing you wanted anyway.Only now you’re not anxious about getting it.You’re actually able to enjoy having it.<h3>So ask yourself the question</h3>If you’re not getting the result you want, maybe you don’t need to try harder.Maybe you need to stop.Stop chasing for a minute.Stop protecting the future you’ve imagined.And look at your life honestly.What is actually working?What isn’t?What are you doing because it works?And what are you doing because you believe you should be doing it?But there’s one question I’d put above all of them.Do I actually want this?Because accepting that you might need to change is hard.And sometimes the change isn’t your body.It’s your mind.Your habits.Your relationships.Your priorities.Your identity.The way you’ve been living.And you might not be ready to let go yet.That’s okay.I wasn’t either.Sometimes life has a strange way of making the decision for you.It rarely happens when you want it to.It usually feels too late.But eventually, something gives.And you let go.And then you realise something strange.You haven’t necessarily lost what you wanted.You’ve lost the anxiety surrounding it.You’ve stopped forcing it.You’ve stopped needing it.And suddenly, you’re free to do the things that actually move you forward.Maybe that’s the real point of letting go.You don’t let go so that you can stop wanting.You let go so that you can finally see clearly enough to move.<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;" data-mce-style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">And trust me that what you want will come back to you calmly.

You Have to Let Go of What You Want

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If you've ever found yourself reaching for biscuits with your afternoon chai, craving chocolate after dinner or feeling like you need something sweet even when you know you shouldn't, you're not weak.You're not lacking willpower.And you're CERTAINLY not alone.This is one of the biggest struggles I see with South Asian women.They'll tell me, "Marcus, I can eat well all day, but when the evening comes I just need something sweet."The mistake most people make is thinking cravings are the problem.They're not.Cravings are a symptom.The real question is...Why is your body asking for sugar in the first place?<h3>Your Body Doesn't Just Randomly Crave Sugar</h3>Your body is incredibly intelligent.It doesn't wake up one day and decide to make your life difficult.When you constantly crave sugar, it's usually because something underneath isn't working as well as it should.For many South Asian women, one of the biggest contributors is insulin resistance.Now don't switch off because this sounds scientific.This could be the missing piece you've been looking for.<h3>Why South Asian Women Are More Prone to Insulin Resistance</h3>Research consistently shows that South Asians are more likely to develop insulin resistance than White Europeans, even at lower body weights. This means many South Asian women are storing more fat around their abdomen despite not appearing overweight. This is one reason why South Asians also develop Type 2 diabetes at younger ages and higher BMIs than many other ethnic groups.This isn't because you've done something wrong.It's because your body handles energy differently.Think of insulin as a key and abdominal fat as rust.Every time you eat carbohydrates, your body releases insulin to unlock your muscle cells and allow glucose inside where it can be used for energy.But over time, if those locks become rusty, the key doesn't work as well.Your body responds by producing even more insulin.More insulin means your body becomes better at storing energy and worse at accessing it.That's where the cycle begins.<h3>Why You Feel Hungry Again Two Hours Later</h3>Have you ever eaten a big lunch...Rice.Curry.Chapatis.Maybe even a dessert afterwards.You feel completely full.Then two hours later you're opening the cupboard looking for biscuits.That isn't because your stomach suddenly emptied.It's because your blood sugar rose quickly, your body released a large amount of insulin, and your blood sugar then dropped again.Your brain doesn't interpret that as "I fancy something sweet."It interprets it as "I need energy."Sugar is simply the quickest solution your brain knows.The frustrating part is that every time you satisfy that craving with sugary foods, the cycle repeats itself.<h3>Why This Is So Common in South Asian Diets</h3>Let's be clear.This isn't an attack on South Asian food.I actually think traditional South Asian cuisine can be incredibly nutritious.The issue is how modern lifestyles have changed.Many women are now:<ul><li>Sitting for most of the day.</li><li>Eating larger portions than they need.</li><li>Not consuming enough protein.</li><li>Carrying less muscle than previous generations. </li><li>Living with higher levels of stress.</li></ul>The meals stayed the same.Life didn't.Your grandmother may have eaten rice and chapatis every day.She also walked instead of driving, carried the shopping from the market, cleaned on her hands and knees, cooked from raw materials instead of a bag and generally expended far more energy than most of us do today.The food isn't the enemy.The environment has changed.<h3>The Muscle Problem Nobody Talks About</h3>Here's something that surprises almost every client I work with.The more muscle you have, the better your body becomes at clearing sugar from your bloodstream.Muscle acts like a sponge for glucose.The bigger the sponge...The more glucose it can soak up.The problem is that South Asian women generally have lower muscle mass and more fat than many other ethnic groups by up to 15%. That fat will also tend to be visceral fat that wraps around your organs and further inhibits insulin release. That means there's less room for glucose to go after a meal, increasing the demand for insulin and making blood sugar regulation more difficult.This is one of the reasons I encourage so many women to strength train.Not because I want them to become bodybuilders.Because I want their body to become better at managing the food they already enjoy eating.<h3>Stop Fighting Your Cravings. Start Understanding Them.</h3>Every time you crave sugar, ask yourself one question."What is my body trying to tell me?"Did you skip breakfast?Did you eat very little protein today?Have you barely moved?Are you exhausted?Did lunch consist mostly of carbohydrates?Cravings often become predictable once you know what triggers them.<h3>How to Reduce Sugar Cravings Naturally</h3>The good news is that you don't have to rely on willpower.You need to make your body work with you rather than against you.Here are the biggest changes I recommend to my South Asian clients.Prioritise protein at every meal Protein slows digestion, helps stabilise blood sugar and keeps you fuller for longer.Aim to include foods such as Greek yoghurt, eggs, chicken, fish, tofu or paneer (while being mindful of portions and overall protein intake) at each meal.Build muscle This is one of the most powerful long-term strategies for improving insulin sensitivity.Strength training two to four times per week can dramatically improve how your body handles carbohydrates over time.Go for a short walk after meals Even a 10-15 minute walk after eating can help reduce post-meal blood glucose levels by increasing glucose uptake into your muscles.Simple.Effective.Often overlooked.Don't fear carbohydrates Rice isn't your enemy.Chapatis aren't your enemy.Fruit isn't your enemy.The goal isn't to remove carbohydrates.The goal is to build a body that handles them better.<h3>The Bigger Picture</h3>If you're constantly craving sugar, don't just see it as a lack of discipline.See it as feedback.Your body is giving you information.For many South Asian women, those cravings are an early sign that blood sugar regulation could be improved.The brilliant news is that insulin sensitivity responds incredibly well to lifestyle changes.Build muscle.Eat enough protein.Move more.Sleep well.Manage stress.Those same habits don't just reduce cravings.They help reduce lower belly fat, improve energy, lower your risk of Type 2 diabetes and leave you feeling healthier for years to come.That's why, in my coaching, we don't just focus on losing weight.We focus on building a body that works with you instead of constantly fighting against you.<h3>References</h3>Aune, D. et al. (2015) 'BMI and all cause mortality: systematic review and non-linear dose-response meta-analysis of 230 cohort studies', BMJ, 353, i2156.Misra, A. and Khurana, L. (2011) 'Obesity and the metabolic syndrome in developing countries', The Journal of Clinical Endocrinology &amp; Metabolism, 93(11 Suppl 1), pp. S9-S30.Narayan, K.M.V., Kanaya, A.M. and Imperatore, G. (2010) 'Why are South Asians prone to type 2 diabetes? A hypothesis based on underexplored pathways', Diabetologia, 53(11), pp. 2343-2349.Taylor, R. (2013) 'Type 2 diabetes: Etiology and reversibility', Diabetes Care, 36(4), pp. 1047-1055.Diabetes UK (2024) Type 2 diabetes risk and ethnicity. Available at: https://www.diabetes.org.uk (Accessed: 18 July 2026).NHS England (2023) Type 2 diabetes prevention and healthy lifestyle guidance. Available at: https://www.nhs.uk (Accessed: 18 July 2026).Colberg, S.R. et al. (2016) 'Physical Activity/Exercise and Diabetes: A Position Statement of the American Diabetes Association', Diabetes Care, 39(11), pp. 2065-2079.Bird, S.R., Hawley, J.A. (2017) 'Update on the effects of physical activity on insulin sensitivity in humans', BMJ Open Sport &amp; Exercise Medicine, 2(1), e000143.

Why South Asian Women Crave Sugar

<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;" data-mce-style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">Most South Asians don’t have a fat loss problem. They don’t have a protein problem.They don’t have a workout problem.They have a guilt problem.And until they recognise it, they’ll spend years blaming their metabolism, their genetics, their age, their hormones, or their lack of motivation.The truth is much harder to accept.The thing holding many South Asians back isn’t what they’re eating.It’s what they’ve been taught.<h2>Stage 1: The Good Child</h2>Many of you grow up being rewarded for being 'good'.Being respectful.Being obedient.Doing what we’re told.Putting others first.Keeping the peace.Making sacrifices.From a young age, you learn that being a good son, daughter, husband, wife, brother or sister means considering everyone else before yourself.On the surface, that sounds admirable.The problem is that nobody teaches you where the line is.Nobody teaches you that there is a difference between caring for others and completely neglecting yourself.So you become very good at meeting other people’s expectations.You become very bad at recognising your own.<h2>Stage 2: The Success Trap</h2>Study hard.Get the degree.Get the job.Get married.Buy the house.Make your family proud.Many people spend decades climbing this ladder only to arrive at the top and realise something uncomfortable.Nobody ever asked whether they were healthy.Nobody ever asked whether they were happy.Nobody ever asked whether they felt confident in their own skin.You can be successful on paper and still feel completely disconnected from yourself.I see it all the time.People who have built careers, raised families and supported everyone around them, yet they struggle to walk up a flight of stairs without getting out of breath.People who have spent their entire lives being responsible but never learned how to take responsibility for themselves.<h2>Stage 3: Where Fitness Enters The Picture</h2>This is where things start to get interesting.Someone decides they’re going to make a change.Maybe they want to lose weight.Maybe they want to build strength.Maybe they’ve had a health scare.Maybe they simply looked in the mirror one day and realised enough was enough.For the first time in years, they’re doing something primarily for themselves.And that is where the resistance begins.Not from the gym.Not from the workouts.Not from the food.From the guilt.<h2>Stage 4: The Guilt Response</h2>This is the part nobody talks about.You decline food at a family gathering.You feel guilty.You leave a function early because you have training in the morning.You feel guilty.You spend money on coaching.You feel guilty.You put your health first for once.You feel guilty.The mistake people make is assuming guilt means they’re doing something wrong.It doesn’t.It often means they’re doing something unfamiliar.If you’ve spent your entire life putting yourself last, prioritising yourself will feel uncomfortable.That’s normal.<h2>How It Shows Up In My Coaching</h2>What do I know about culture?Truth is, not much.I grew up in a multicultural family with an Eastern European grandad, an English father, and an African mum living in both Ghana and Surrey.My lines were blurred, so I got to pick my own and decide where I want my life to go.But what I consistently see in mono-cultural clients is that those who honour everybody else at the expense of themselves never get the results they want.It shows up as last-minute cancellations because of surprise family events.It shows up as abandoning nutritional guidelines because “they’d be upset if I declined.”It shows up when someone asks permission to prioritise their own health.It shows up when people apologise for taking time for themselves.It shows up when clients are making incredible progress, only to disappear because they feel guilty for putting themselves first.And it shows up when someone is physically capable of far more than they’re currently doing, but they’re terrified of being judged for changing.Not by strangers.By the people closest to them.<h2>Stage 5: The Retreat</h2>Eventually, most people reach a crossroads.One path involves discomfort.The other involves familiarity.Most choose familiarity.The gym becomes less frequent.The healthy habits slowly disappear.The boundaries vanish.Life returns to normal.Everyone is comfortable again.Except them.Months later they’re frustrated.Years later they’re resentful.And decades later they’re left wondering why they never became the person they wanted to be.<h2>Stage 6: The People Who Escape</h2>The people who break the South Asian guilt cycle don’t stop loving their families.They don’t become selfish.They don’t cut everyone off and move to the mountains.They simply stop confusing love with obedience.They stop confusing respect with compliance.They stop believing that sacrifice is always virtuous.They realise that looking after themselves isn’t taking something away from their family.It’s becoming someone better for their family.A healthier parent.A stronger partner.A more capable son or daughter.A better example.<h2>The Question You Need To Ask Yourself...</h2>If your health is suffering.If your confidence is low.If you’re unhappy with where you are physically.If you’ve spent years talking about changing but never truly committing.Then ask yourself one simple question:How much of my life am I living for me?Because if every major decision is being filtered through what other people might think, then you’ve already handed control of your future to someone else.The uncomfortable reality is that culture only has as much power as you allow it to have.At some point, you have to decide whether you’re going to continue living according to expectations that were handed to you, or whether you’re going to build a life that reflects what you actually want.My coaching isn’t about helping people lose a few kilograms.It’s about helping people become strong enough, confident enough and capable enough to finally put themselves on their own priority list.And if you’re not ready to do that yet, then i'm not the coach for you.if you are ready to take the step. Visit my contact page.But please don't complain about results you’re unwilling to take responsibility for.

The South Asian Guilt Cycle

This is not an easy thing to admit, and it’s definitely not a popular thing to say, but for a lot of South Asians the biggest thing holding them back physically has very little to do with discipline, motivation, or knowledge.It’s culture.Not culture in a romantic sense. Not the food, the clothes, or the traditions you actually enjoy. I’m talking about the unspoken expectations, the guilt, the pressure to stay in line, and the subtle ways people pull you back when you start doing something different.If you’ve ever tried to take your training seriously and felt uncomfortable doing it around family, you’ll know exactly what I mean.<h3>&nbsp; Culture Was Built for Survival, Not for the Body You Want Now</h3> Your culture made sense once. It was built around survival, tight communities, shared resources, and doing what was expected of you. In that environment, obedience and conformity kept a families legacy alive.But we don’t live in that world anymore.Most people now sit all day, move very little, eat food that didn’t exist two generations ago, and live under constant low-level stress. The same cultural structures that once protected people are now completely mismatched to modern life.No one updated the rules. And you’re paying the price physically.<h3>Why Training Feels So Uncomfortable at First</h3>For a lot of people, the hardest part of starting fitness isn’t the gym itself. It’s the internal conflict that comes with it.Eating differently feels awkward. Saying no to food feels rude. Training regularly feels excessive. Prioritising yourself feels selfish, even when you know logically that it isn’t.So people compromise. They skip sessions. They eat things they didn’t want. They tell themselves they’ll take it seriously later, once life is calmer or people are more understanding.Later never really arrives.<h3>The Control Is Quiet, Which Is Why It Works</h3>Most of the time, no one directly tells you not to train.It comes out as jokes, comments, or concern that doesn’t quite sit right. You’re told you’re doing too much, that you’ve changed, that you should relax and enjoy life. On the surface it sounds caring, but underneath it’s a nudge back toward what’s familiar for everyone else.And because it’s subtle, people give in without realising they’ve done it.<h3>Here’s the Part People Avoid Saying Out Loud</h3>If your health is declining, your energy is low, and your confidence has slowly eroded, then staying quiet to keep the peace isn’t virtuous.It’s costly.You’re the one who carries the extra weight, the joint pain, the frustration, and the regret. Culture doesn’t deal with those consequences. You do.<h3>This Isn’t About Cutting Off Your Family</h3>This is where people get defensive, and I understand why.You don’t need to reject your culture. You don’t need to fight with your family or constantly explain yourself. And you definitely don’t need to turn fitness into your entire personality.What you do need is the ability to stay connected without being controlled.That means learning how to show up without folding every time there’s pressure.<h3>What Balance Actually Looks Like in Real Life</h3>Balance isn’t doing whatever keeps everyone else comfortable.It’s training first, then going to the family event. It’s eating in a way that supports your goals and still sitting at the table. It’s leaving a bit earlier when you need sleep and not turning it into a debate.You’re still there. You’re just no longer negotiable.<h3>Most People Never Make This Shift</h3>They wait for permission. They hope for approval. They expect the comments to stop before they commit.That rarely happens.So they stay exactly where they are and eventually convince themselves that this is just how life is.<h3>If You Want to Move Forward, This Is What Actually Helps</h3>You decide your priorities before you’re tested. You treat training like an appointment, not a suggestion. You plan your food in advance so you’re not relying on willpower in emotional moments.And most importantly, you stop explaining yourself every time someone questions you.You don’t need a speech. You need consistency.<h3>Prepare for the Pushback</h3>When you stop bending, people notice. Some will respect it. Some won’t. Some will push harder at first.That’s normal.What isn’t normal is sacrificing your health to avoid mild discomfort.You must stay strong to actually get where you want to go.<h3>Culture Only Has Power If You Hand It Over</h3>This part is uncomfortable because it removes excuses.No one is forcing you. You’re choosing compliance because it feels safer and more familiar. But safe isn’t the same as fulfilled, and familiar isn’t the same as healthy.At some point, you either decide that your body and your future matter, or you keep waiting for the right moment.<h3>You Don’t Need to Rebel. You Need Standards.</h3>Quiet ones.The kind that don’t argue or justify. The kind you live by consistently.You train. You look after your body. You keep showing up.And eventually, the same people who questioned you will ask how you did it.That happens more often than you think. At some point, you have to be honest with yourself.If your health keeps slipping, if your confidence keeps dropping, if you keep saying “I’ll start soon”, then culture is already deciding your life for you. Not loudly. Not aggressively. But through expectations, guilt, food, comments, routines, and the unspoken rule that keeping everyone else comfortable matters more than you taking control of yourself.Nothing changes until you decide that your body, your health, and your future are non-negotiable.That decision feels uncomfortable at first. You will feel selfish. You will feel awkward. You will feel like you’re going against the grain. But on the other side of that discomfort is clarity, confidence, and a sense of self-respect most people never develop because they never step outside what’s familiar.<h3>What do I know about culture?</h3>Truth is I don't know much. I grew up in multicultural family with an eastern european grandad, an english father, an african mum living in Ghana and Surrey. So when the lines are blurred you get to pick your own.But what I consistently see in my clients with a monocultural upbringing is that those who honour their family at the expense of themselves never get the results they want.&nbsp; It shows up to me as last minute cancellations because of surprise events. Not sticking to nutritional guidelines because "they would be upset if I declined."They’ll hit a PB and immediately say, “It’s not that good though,” because confidence was never encouraged, only compliance.It shows up when I ask what they ate and they pre-emptively justify it. Not explain. Justify. As if they’re already expecting disappointment or criticism.My coaching is for people who are ready to stop letting culture run the show and start building a body and life they actually respect, while still being present with family on their own terms.And if you’re not ready for that yet, that’s fine. But you don’t get to complain about results you’re unwilling to take responsibility for.The door is open. The choice is yours.

When Your Culture Is the Reason You’re Stuck

You’ve tried eating clean. You’ve tried walking more. Maybe you even tried cutting out rice (you rebel). And yet, that stubborn lower belly fat just won’t shift.You start thinking:“Maybe it’s just my genetics…” “Maybe I’m too old now…” “Maybe I just need to accept it.” No. No. And definitely not.This isn’t about accepting defeat — it’s about understanding the truth behind how your body, your biology, and your culture shape the fat loss game. Especially if you’re a South Asian woman, born into a world of carb-heavy diets, low muscle mass, and silent expectations.Let me break this down for you, exactly the way you need to hear it.<h3>1. Insulin Sensitivity: Your Silent Saboteur</h3>South Asians, even at a “normal” BMI, are more likely to store fat — especially visceral belly fat — because of poorer insulin sensitivity (Misra &amp; Vikram, 2004). This means your body doesn’t handle carbs as well, so they get stored as fat faster.That lower belly pouch? It’s not just food — it’s how your body processes food.What to do:<ul><li>Cut the refined carbs (white rice, naan, fried snacks). </li><li>Get your carbs from veg, pulses, beans, quinoa, oats. </li><li>Time carbs around training or in the evening when insulin sensitivity is higher (Soop et al., 2002).</li></ul><h3>2. The Muscle Myth: “I Don’t Want to Get Bulky”</h3>Let’s get this straight: you’re not bulky. You’re under-muscled.South Asian women are rarely encouraged to lift weights growing up. You were told to stay slim, not strong. But without muscle, your metabolism slows, your body becomes carb-intolerant, and fat just... sticks.What to do:<ul><li>Resistance training 3x/week minimum. </li><li>Focus on glutes, legs, core, back — the big muscle groups. </li><li>Lift with intent. Track your progress. Let your strength build your shape. </li></ul>Muscle isn’t masculine — it’s metabolic.<h3>3. The Cultural Plate: Delicious… and Destructive</h3>Let’s talk about the thali problem.Most South Asian diets are low in protein and high in refined carbs and seed oils. You praise daal but forget it’s incomplete without a complementary amino acid. You skip meat, but don’t replace it with enough plant-based protein.What to do:<ul><li>Protein at every single meal (1.6–2.2g/kg bodyweight/day) (Morton et al., 2018). </li><li>Add tofu, eggs, Greek yoghurt, tempeh, whey, soy milk, paneer. </li><li>Structure your meals: build around protein + veg, then add smart carbs.</li></ul> You’re not broken — your nutrition just needs rewiring.<h3>4. Cortisol &amp; Cultural Pressure: A Perfect Storm</h3>Let’s be honest: South Asian women carry a lot. You manage the household, the job, the expectations — and somewhere between that, you’re supposed to “just find time” for yourself.Chronic stress spikes cortisol, which makes fat stick exactly where you hate it most — your belly.What to do:<ul><li>Prioritise sleep (7–9 hrs, blacked-out room, no screens). </li><li>Do zone 2 cardio (low-intensity walking, cycling) 3–4x/week. </li><li>Set boundaries. Say “no” without guilt. Stress steals your body. </li></ul>Stress isn’t weakness — but ignoring it is.<h3>5. The Hormonal Shift After 35</h3>Post-35, progesterone starts to dip, and estrogen becomes dominant. The result? Bloating, belly fat, mood swings, and a shift in where you store fat.Couple that with the natural decline in muscle mass after 30 (roughly 3–8% per decade if you’re inactive) and you’ve got a recipe for frustration (Mitchell et al., 2012).What to do:<ul><li>Lift weights. It offsets estrogen-related fat gain. </li><li>Eat high-fibre foods (aids estrogen clearance). </li><li>Cycle-sync your training. Track your symptoms. Listen to your body. </li></ul>Menopause isn’t the end. It’s a new phase — and strength is your anchor.<h3>6. The Mitochondria Factor (Yes, Seriously)</h3>Research suggests South Asians may have less efficient mitochondria — the part of the cell responsible for burning fat (Raji et al., 2001). This means lower baseline fat oxidation at rest.What to do:<ul><li>Zone 2 cardio (60–70% max HR) fasted, 30–45 min. </li><li>Resistance training to increase energy demand. </li><li>Keep moving throughout the day — 8–10k steps daily.</li></ul>Your mitochondria can be trained. So train them.<h3>7. This Isn’t About Fat Loss. It’s About Power.</h3>You’ve been told to shrink. Be smaller. Be slimmer. Be quiet.But you were never meant to shrink — you were meant to rise.Lower belly fat isn’t just a problem of vanity — it’s a marker of insulin health, inflammation, and metabolic risk. Losing it isn’t just about looking better — it’s about living better.Yes, your body is different. Yes, the odds are a little tougher. But that just means your strategy needs to be sharper.Train. Lift. Recover. Eat like your body matters — because it does.<h3>References</h3>Misra, A. and Vikram, N.K. (2004). Insulin resistance syndrome (metabolic syndrome) and obesity in Asian Indians: evidence and implications. Nutrition, 20(5), pp.482–491. Soop, M. et al. (2002). Glucose uptake and utilization during and after exercise in normal and insulin-resistant individuals. Diabetes, 51(Suppl 1), pp.S51–S56. Morton, R.W. et al. (2018). A systematic review, meta-analysis and meta-regression of the effect of protein supplementation on resistance training–induced gains in muscle mass and strength in healthy adults. British Journal of Sports Medicine, 52(6), pp.376–384. Raji, A. et al. (2001). Body fat distribution and insulin resistance in white and African-American women: The role of leptin. Journal of Clinical Endocrinology &amp; Metabolism, 86(6), pp.2969–2974. Mitchell, W.K. et al. (2012). Sarcopenia, dynapenia, and the impact of advancing age on human skeletal muscle size and strength; a quantitative review. Frontiers in Physiology, 3, p.260.

Why South Asian Women Struggle with Lower Belly Fat — And Exactly What to Do About It

Dog jack russell terrier takes pictures on camera on a tripod outdoors.

When someone told me they were okay with me recording their lifts for progress but didn’t want it shared in a private group where they know everyone, it struck a chord. This wasn’t just about the mechanics of lifting or the technicality of being on camera. It was about something deeper—being seen, judged, and exposed.This fear is more common than we talk about, and it’s tied to how we perceive ourselves, vulnerability, and our relationship with progress. As I reflected on it, I realized that while this fear feels deeply personal, there’s a lot of psychology and research that explains why so many of us struggle with this discomfort.Let’s break it down, because understanding it can help us move through it.<h3>&nbsp; Why Are We So Afraid to Be Seen? </h3>1. The “Spotlight Effect” The spotlight effect refers to our tendency to overestimate how much others notice or judge us (Gilovich et al., 2000). When we’re on camera, we feel like every flaw, misstep, or awkward movement is magnified. In reality, most people are far less critical than we imagine—especially in supportive spaces like a fitness group.2. Fear of Social Judgment Evolutionarily, humans are wired to seek social acceptance. Negative judgment or perceived rejection can trigger feelings of anxiety or inadequacy (Leary &amp; Kowalski, 1995). Even in a group where we trust others, the vulnerability of sharing our “in-progress” self—rather than a perfected version—can feel like a risk.3. Self-Objectification and Body Image Research shows that seeing ourselves through the lens of a camera can increase self-objectification—focusing more on how we look than on what we’re doing (Fredrickson &amp; Roberts, 1997). This shift can heighten self-consciousness, making it harder to focus on the progress or achievement the video represents.4. Impostor Syndrome In fitness, impostor syndrome can creep in, making us feel like we’re not “good enough” to share our progress publicly. Studies suggest this feeling is common, even among people who are highly competent (Clance &amp; Imes, 1978). The fear of not being “ready” to share often holds us back from recognizing our true achievements.<h3>Why Sharing Your Lifts Matters</h3>Here’s the thing: Sharing your lifts in a safe, supportive group isn’t about showing off. It’s about celebrating progress, learning from each other, and building a sense of community.It Normalizes the Process: By sharing your lifts—flaws and all—you remind others that progress isn’t linear or perfect. It’s messy, but that’s what makes it real. It Builds Connection: Research shows that shared vulnerability strengthens bonds (Brown, 2012). When you share your journey, you create space for others to share theirs. It Tracks Growth: Watching your old videos is one of the most powerful ways to see how far you’ve come, both physically and mentally. <h3>How to Approach the Fear of Sharing Progress</h3>If the idea of sharing videos of your lifts makes you uncomfortable, you’re not alone. The key is to approach it at your own pace and with strategies that make it feel less overwhelming.1. Understand That the Fear Is Normal Knowing that others feel the same discomfort can be reassuring. In fact, studies on public performance anxiety suggest that even seasoned athletes and performers experience similar fears (Mesagno &amp; Marchant, 2013). The difference is in how they work through it.2. Start with Small, Private Steps You don’t have to share a video publicly right away. Record your lifts for yourself first. Watch them privately, focusing on what went well. The more you expose yourself to seeing your progress, the less intimidating it will feel over time.3. Reframe Your Perspective Instead of thinking of the video as a performance, think of it as a tool. A study by Lee and Schumann (2004) found that reframing a task as a learning opportunity rather than an evaluation reduced performance anxiety and increased confidence. Your video isn’t about being perfect—it’s about tracking growth.4. Lean on Your Supportive Community If you decide to share, start with a space where you feel safe, like a group of like-minded people who understand the journey. Research shows that social support enhances motivation and reduces feelings of inadequacy in fitness settings (Deci &amp; Ryan, 1985).5. Celebrate Progress Over Perfection Focus on what you’ve achieved, not what you think is lacking. Studies on growth mindset (Dweck, 2006) highlight the importance of viewing effort and progress as success, rather than fixating on outcomes. Did you lift heavier than last week? Maintain better form? Celebrate those wins.<h3>What I’ve Learned About Vulnerability in Fitness</h3>When she told me she wasn’t comfortable sharing her video, it made me pause. My first reaction was, “But everyone here is supportive! Why not?” But the more I thought about it, the more I understood.Sharing a video isn’t just about showing a lift. It’s about letting others see a part of you that feels unfinished, in progress, or vulnerable. That takes courage. And even if someone isn’t ready to take that step, they’re still showing up. They’re still doing the work, and that matters.<h3>A Reframe: Why Sharing Progress Is a Gift</h3>Sharing progress isn’t just about you—it’s about what you offer others. When you share a lift, you show that:Progress is achievable, no matter your starting point. It’s okay to be imperfect.Strength isn’t just about physical performance—it’s about showing up despite the fear.And for yourself, those videos become a time capsule of growth. Looking back on your journey—weeks, months, or years later—reminds you how far you’ve come, even on days when progress feels slow.<h3>A Thought to Leave You With</h3>If you’re scared to share your progress, know this: You’re not alone. Vulnerability is hard, but it’s also where connection and growth happen. Take small steps. Share when you’re ready.The camera doesn’t capture your worth. It captures your effort, your growth, and the courage it takes to show up. That’s something to be proud of—whether you share it or not.<h3>References</h3>Brown, B. (2012). Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. Penguin Random House. Clance, P. R., &amp; Imes, S. A. (1978). The imposter phenomenon in high achieving women: Dynamics and therapeutic intervention. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research &amp; Practice, 15(3), 241-247. Deci, E. L., &amp; Ryan, R. M. (1985). Intrinsic motivation and self-determination in human behavior. Springer Science &amp; Business Media. Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Random House. Fredrickson, B. L., &amp; Roberts, T. A. (1997). Objectification theory: Toward understanding women's lived experiences and mental health risks. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 21(2), 173-206. Gilovich, T., Medvec, V. H., &amp; Savitsky, K. (2000). The spotlight effect in social judgment: An egocentric bias in estimates of the salience of one's own actions and appearance. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 78(2), 211-222. Lee, J., &amp; Schumann, D. W. (2004). Explaining performance in cross-functional teams. Journal of Business Research, 57(10), 1110-1120. Mesagno, C., &amp; Marchant, D. (2013). Characteristics of situational choking under pressure in sports. International Journal of Sport Psychology, 44(4), 368-384.

The Fear of Sharing Progress: Navigating the Discomfort of Being on Camera

Rise with Marcus

I offer personal training to people. I can help improve people’s body shape through losing fat and gaining muscle. Through this I help with their physique, strength, tone and prepare them for holiday or improve their health.

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Why South Asian Women Struggle with Lower Belly Fat — And...

The Fear of Sharing Progress: Navigating the Discomfort o...